so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
