dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
