i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
