just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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