HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize