No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Houston, we have a squirter
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize