my soul wont recognize me after tonight
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
