I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
