Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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