Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
my poor anus
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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