Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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