As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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