I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
