Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
