You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
