If i come over, it means nothing
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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