Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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