one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
