Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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