Don't make out with my wife yet
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize