it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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