I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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