Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
