so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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