dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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