I want to make a zoo with you.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think I am morally bankrupt
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
