More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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