belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
