it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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