im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
