it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
