Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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