standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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