i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
