you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
