nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
