Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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