He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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