Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
