Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
