just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
