I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
