My Higher Power is John Stamos
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
