My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
