Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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