I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize