The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
