im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize