I just pynch a tree in the face
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
