Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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