rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
