Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
