My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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