Don't make out with my wife yet
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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