Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
