Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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