How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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