Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
