I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
