just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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