i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
