other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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