the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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